Am I just retarded?

I hope at SOME point, this shit happens to someone else.

So, we buy milk by the gallon here at my house. And as I went to eat some tasty pop tarts, I discovered that the milk gallon I was going to open to pour myself some dipping-milk was smashed in… basically the top of the milk was caved in. So, the milk, not having been opened, remained in tact, and I decided to try to pull the top out to make it upright.

Anyway, as I’m pulling, the top just popped off, and I got milk all over myself. My face, my hands… my hair. Why the hell did I get milk in my hair? I have no clue. But let me just say…

Those were some fucking DELICIOUS pop tarts.

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